The GameChanger
‘If you think positively every single day,
Work hard,
Strive to become the best version of yourself,
Surround yourself with inspirational people,
And never give up,
There are no limits to how exhausted you can become.’
Svend Brinkmann
Professor of Psychology
I was really struck by this quote.
It shines a harsh light on the narrative of modern western society that we should be always pushing ourselves for growth, and ‘self-improvement’, for bigger and better in everything we do, in order to find success and happiness.
Of course there is value in striving for better, for ourselves, our lives, our society, our work...
But what if that’s not what it’s all about?
What happens when the idea of ‘self-improvement’ becomes obsessive and even harmful?
When we’re constantly striving, pushing, fighting, stretching, battling, struggling, working harder, longer, to go further, to do more, to be more, to do better, to be better better, better...
Where does this leave us as humans?
When our minds are FULL of...
What we are lacking
What we don’t have yet
What we haven’t achieved yet
What goal we haven’t reached
What our weaknesses are
What we are not doing that we should be doing
How we should be behaving
What we should have learnt by now
What bad habit we shouldn’t be doing
What we are behind on
What we should have learnt by now
What we should have done by now
What isn’t perfect
What should be better...
then where is the space...
To slow down
To feel light-hearted
To release the pressure
For things to be easy
For things to be simple
To do things, just for the sake of it
To feel free
To be still
To create
To play
To be present
To notice and appreciate the now, at this very moment,
To acknowledge and celebrate ourselves
To enjoy and be joyful
To lean into our interests and passions
To sit with ourselves
To feel deep connection to others
To appreciate our internal strengths and wisdom
To tap into our deeper sense of satisfaction
To rest
To pause
To think
To daydream
To give our bodies and minds what they need
To recognise we’re ok
To accept ourselves as glorious, multifaceted humans, and not machines?
These lists of course are not mutually exclusive, it’s not about doing one or the other. But what would happen if we came from a starting point of self-acceptance, instead of a starting point of lacking or of deficit?
Instead of our heads being consumed by what we are NOT, what if it was full of what we really ARE? Who we really ARE now? With all the strengths, wisdom, gifts and beauty that entails?
This can be an absolute game changer.
It could mean that we show up from:
a place of rested energy, as oppose to fatigue and depletion
a place of possibilities, not impossibilities
a place of abundance not scarcity
a place of love and joy, not fear and worry
a place of self compassion and acceptance, not self berating and blame
a place of calm and ease, not pressure and straining
a place of freedom and opportunity, not restriction and restraint?
How different would that be?
How does life coaching connect with this?
This is the foundational belief from which my coaching approach comes.
We are already enough.
We are already whole.
We are not lacking as humans.
We have, right now, incredible strengths, qualities and wisdom that are beautifully unique to each of us, and can serve us profoundly in our lives.
Sometimes we can lose sight of them.
Sometimes they feel distant
Sometimes they are hard to believe and trust in.
My coaching comes from a place of reconnecting with the strengths, wholeness and capability, and humanness in everyone.
I support my clients to lean into these things. And not from a place of lacking or deficit.
I create completely safe, non-judgmental and compassionate space, for you to be truly heard, to have time to think at ease, time for you to reconnect with yourself, who you really are, and what you want from your life.