How can i tell iF it’s my self-critic talking or i’m just being realistic?
This tool is a really useful one to come back to when you’re not sure which voices to trust in your head. It can be hard in the moment to distinguish for ourselves, what is the helpful voice of reason and realistic thinking, and what is the self-critical voice that’s unhelpful for us, and is trying to hold us back.
The table here highlights the main differences between what an irrational inner-critic voice sounds like, and what a useful rational thinking voice sounds like. When you’re not sure which it is you’re hearing, come and look at this table. And ask yourself…
What am I hearing in my head right now?
Can I identify them with any of the descriptions in the table?
Which ones? What are you noticing?
How does this make me feel?
What will I do as a result of this information?
Here’s an example for you
An inner critic voice might sound like this:
I could never do that
I don’t have what it takes
I need much more experience
I don’t have enough budget
It would be irresponsible
It’s too risky
It’s too late to start
A rational thinking voice might sound like this:
I don’t know if I have what’s needed. How could I find out?
What experience have I got already that can help me? What more experience do I need? How could I get that?
How could I make it work in the budget I have?
Is there another way?
How can I move forwards on this, whilst maintaining my commitments?
What would be an approach that is comfortable and achievable?
This table is adapted from the book Playing Big, by Tara Mohr.